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Everybody wants to go to heaven. If someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is you just look around the room and answer havent decided yet.
Life is shortsmile while you still have teeth.
Funny short sayings. Not saying I hate you but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water Id drink it. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Pampered cows produce spoiled milk. 104 Funny Short Sayings To Brighten Up Your Day funny english quotes 2021 funny quotes funny hilarious quotes I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
Heres a collection of funny short sayings to brighten up your day. They will tickle your funny bone and amuse you in their own way. Wit is mans greatest treasure someone said.
And yes he was right. Wit helps us see the absurdity in the most serious situations and is hence important in life everyday. 75 funny quotes and sayings - short quotes that are funny words quotes funny short short quotes funny funniest quotes in the world 13.
Netflix and tuck myself in by 9. Funny Quotes and Sayings. Best quotes about funny and Sayings Your secrets are safe with me I wasnt even listening.
If you dont like me remember its mind over matter. I dont mind and you dont matter 1. My friend thinks he s smart.
He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. Short Funny Quotes Funny Life Quotes Cool Funny quotes and sayings. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you dont need it.
If you think nobody cares if youre alive try missing a couple of payments. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too. Perfect for sharing blogging and tweeting.
If someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is you just look around the room and answer havent decided yet. The most expensive thing in the world is trust. It can take years to earn and a matter of seconds to lose.
Think you need to add some humor to a dull day. These sayings are bound to make you laugh think and even ponder over certain things in life. So brace yourself because this compilation of funny and humorous short sayings will definitely leave you asking for more.
Quotes For Your Wits. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible Voltaire. Some people think theyre hilarious until they get on stage and grab a mic.
Fortunately youve got nothing to lose this is free to try. Youve got the opportunity to go create something without having to worry about investment. So get to it.
Go create make one of the next great Sht Happens funny t-shirt sayings. 77 Funny Slogans Sayings. Below are the 77 Funny Slogans Sayings.
Share them with your friends. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
If your feet smells and your nose run Im pretty sure you were built upside down. Be Honest with Yourself. Leave the Lying to.
Fear not the light is always on for you in the fridge. Sometimes I drink water - just to surprise my liver. I think your parents shouldnt have built the swing that close to the wall.
How to part in style after having a row with your friend. I hope your pillow is warm on both sides in the summer. Home Short Funny Quotes.
Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous. Sometimes when I close my eyes I cant see. Stupid Quotes Top 100.
Everybody wants to go to heaven. But nobody wants to die. 60 Short Funny Motivational Quotes.
When tempted to fight fire with fire remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. Age is of no importance unless youre a cheese. A compilation of funny sayings and short puns - keen and winged words of wisdom - This list can be an inspiration for speeches letters greeting cards weddings birthdays and goodbye farewell.
The pun is mightier than the word. The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin All my life Ive always wanted to be somebody.
50 Funny Quotes And Sayings Short funny Words. Everything I like is either expensive illegal or wont text me back. Dont bother walking a mile in my shoes that would be boring.
Spend 30 seconds in my head thatll freak you right out. My wife isnt fragile like a flower she is fragile like a bomb. Short and Funny Quotes about Family 61.
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight youre drunk. Ill be there to catch you whenever you fall.
A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth but also of tremendous inflation. When youre calling a woman you need to call her twice. Funny sayings are a clever way to provide a combination of wisdom and humor.
These short fun sayings provide a silly expression usually using wordplay or puns to make somebody laugh. Try to remember some of these funny phrases from our list so when the time is right you can say one of these hilarious lines from memory to make somebody smile. I am on a seafood diet.
228 hilarious funny sayings. I had an extremely busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. You can stop driving me crazy I can walk from here.
Silence is golden unless you have kids then silence is just plain suspicious. More Funny Short Sayings. Old lawyers never die.
They just lose their appeal. If you dont pay your exorcist you get repossessed. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U C L A.
The poet has written better poems but hes also written verse. Despite the cost of living it remains quite popular. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Therefore here you have short funny quotes about life so you can expand your life. The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest. Life is shortsmile while you still have teeth.
I am so clever that sometimes I dont understand a single word of what I am saying Oscar Wilde Every tattoo is temporary because were all slowly dying.