12
May
157 of the best and stupidest quotes and sayings ever. Theyre going to tickle your funny bone and theyre going to amuse you in their own way.
There are no stupid questions just stupid people.
Short funny quaotes. Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them. Bill Murray 251. I intend to live forever.
So far so good. Steven Wright 252. Happiness is having a large loving caring close-knit family in another city.
George Burns 253. First the doctor told me the good news. I was going to have a disease named after me.
Home Short Funny Quotes Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous. Sometimes when I close my eyes I cant see. Anonymous Stupid Quotes Top 100 5K Likes Everybody wants to go to heaven.
But nobody wants to die. Albert King Sayings Top 100 7K Likes Dont worry if plan A fails there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Here are 60 short and funny motivational quotes to help brighten your day.
60 Short Funny Motivational Quotes 1. When tempted to fight fire with fire remember that the Fire Department usually uses water Unknown 2. Age is of no importance unless youre a cheese Billie Burke 3.
Tough situations build strong people 41. Isnt it funny how red white blue represent freedom. Until theyre flashing behind you 42.
If youre wrong and you shut up youre wise. If youre right and you shut up youre married 43. Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny 44.
There is no We in chocolate 45. Short Funny Quotes Ninety percent of the game is half mental - Jim Wohford Welcome to Short Funny Quotes Enjoy the short funny quotes they should make you smile. Short funny quotes are great because they are small enough to remember and funny enough to make you laugh.
See the funny quotes change every 10 seconds Short Funny Quotes Home. Do or do not. There is no try.
Yoda from Star Wars 2. You cant live your life for other people. Youve got to do whats right for you even if it hurts some people you love.
From The Notebook 3. Life moves pretty fast. If you dont stop and look around once in a while you could miss it.
Ferris from Ferris Buellers Day Off 4. Perfect for sharing your best friends and family. Our collection of short funny quotes which are short straight to your head and mind-blowing.
My dream job would be the karma delivery service 26. Real girls are never perfect and perfect girls are never real 27. If it requires fake smiling I probably wont come 28.
Therefore here you have short funny quotes about life so you can expand your life. The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest. Life is shortsmile while you still have teeth.
Today I will be as useless as the letter g in lasagna. Im best served with coffee and a side of sarcasm. I drink to make other people more interesting.
Looking for funny quotes about life. To help you get through todayThese Short funny words will inspire you at the same time laugh out loudly. The only mystery in life is not about how you survive the storm its about how you dance in the rain.
Inspirational quotes about life and success between lines in Real life often have a lot of real stresses. Funny Quotes And Sayings Short funny Words Life is not always perfect. Like a road it has many bends ups and down but thats its beauty.
Dont compare yourself with others just compare your today with your yesterday. If there is an improvement thats your achievement good morning have a wonderful day. Gary Delaney One of the funniest quotes.
I intend to live forever. So far so good. - Steven Wright Always borrow money from a pessimist.
He wont expect it back. - Oscar Wilde A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him At my age I dont even buy green bananas - Claude Pepper.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house George Carlin A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston If you think you are too small to make a difference try sleeping with a mosquito.
Funny Quotes 104 Funny Short Sayings To Brighten Up Your Day To brighten up your day here is a series of funny short sayings. Theyre going to tickle your funny bone and theyre going to amuse you in their own way. Wit is the greatest treasure of man said someone.
And yes he was right. Always remember that youre unique. Just like everyone else.
Anonymous Laughing stock. Cattle with a sense of humor. Anonymous I am free of all prejudice.
I hate everyone equally. Fields A good lawyer knows the law. A clever one takes the judge to lunch.
Anonymous If at first you dont succeed order pizza. Short Funny Motivational Quotes to Laugh About life Dont worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia Charles Schulz Optimist.
Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is. Short funny quotes and sayings I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried but they wanted cash.
If life gives you lemons make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.
Why cant you play cards on a small boat. Because someone is always sitting on the deck. If youre enjoying these quotes make sure to read our collection of vine quotes that showcase some of the most hilarious moments from the short-lived site.
Funny inspirational quotes to lift your mood. Any fool can criticize condemn and complain and most fools do Benjamin Franklin. If you want something said ask.
Short Funny Quotes About Friends Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another What. I thought I was the only one CS. Lewis One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
Euripides Ive always believed that a goal in life is not to own a boat but have a friend with a boat. 157 of the best and stupidest quotes and sayings ever. There are no stupid questions just stupid people.
Fart when someone hugs you it makes them feel strong. Instead of calling it the John Im going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. Nothing can offer a better laugh than reading funny quotes and sayings about life.
Sometimes funny quotes to help you get through today. Take a quick look at our funny memes to find several cool humorous quotes right now. Easy to read a list of the most hilarious phrases ever spoken.
Perfect for sharing blogging.